I am living breathing proof that you don’t have to live the life you were born into.
As a child of poverty and a family history of addiction I grew up DREAMING.
Dreaming of DOING more.
Dreaming of BEING more.
Vowing to never succumb to the life I was born into.
As a child I didn’t know what life outside of poverty was like but I knew I had to find out. I had to break the cycle.
It’s hard to explain the feeling of wishing you had something as simple as a dresser so you could get your cloths off the ground and out of the dusty and tattered box you salvaged from the food pantry.
And to be over protective of that “box” because it was literally the only thing that was yours. A box. Full of outgrown stained cloths.
Anxiety that manifest from your personality developing in that kind of environment that follows you into adulthood.
With literally nothing but a dream and a will to survive…I broke the cycle.
Some people say you lose your identity when you have children.
I was one of those people.
My first child came along and I found myself crying to my baby bump and apologizing to the fetus inside of me for bringing it into this crazy world.
A world in which I did not quite understand and unsure if I ever really would.
I completely lost who I was and became someone I did not know.
The truth is, I wasn’t truly ready, but are we ever?
It was hard to understand my new identity. A child requires lots patients and selflessness, which was something I was not use to.
There were days I felt so alone. Most of my friends went on about their own lives while I went on about mine, but with a tiny human I was trying not to ruin.
Questioning my new role in the world became ultra heavy in the darkness of the night.
Who was I then? Who am I now…
An internal tug of war between my heart and mind regarding my ever changing purpose.
Then came baby two. He really shook things up.
Then three.
Three was a bomb shell. I was suppose to be done at two. I WAS NOT READY FOR THREE.
I didn’t think I could do it. Another life depending on me!
I had already given my all, I didn’t think I had much more to give.
But then he came. And he was a perfect addition.
I may not have a lot left of me to give, but I have just enough. The people who are still here for me are the people who truly matter.
At 32 years of age with child number 3 in my arms, I can finally say I found out what/where I am suppose to be.
I can finally say;
Don’t be sacred. Have babies.
Let them alter your body. Let them destroy all of your belongings. Let them ravage your sanity. Let them suck all of your energy. Let them spend all your money.
Most importantly… Let them steal your heart.
OR…get you a gremlin addicted to red-bull. That would probably be easier.
My life has been an interesting journey thus far. If you had asked me 15 years ago where I would be today, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt I didn’t think I would be where I am now.
Young, wild, and carefree
My young life was not without triumphs and set backs but I will hold that story for a rainy day. Aside from it all, I prevailed.
I chose a different path than the masses I was surrounded by. I had the courage to say no. I had the strength to push forward despite many set backs. I some how managed to go to college, graduate as a nurse, and pull myself from the grasp of poverty.
Nursing Graduate
Along my journey I met the love of my life. His journey is his to share. I will tell you when we first met, he was a caterpillar that couldn’t quite find a place to make his cocoon. He had everything he needed to grow his beautiful butterfly wings but he just wasn’t ready.
My love and I
We both had so much life ahead of us and we were so excited to do it together. We were eager for the future and both re-enrolled into college.
But life had other plans and along came our first born child. She lit a fire in our hearts and created more motivation in my husband than anyone or anything could ever do.
And just like that our hearts became one. Beating like a drum deep in my tummy.
And so began our journey as a family.
Birth of my first born child
Many days and nights apart we both worked hard to provide for our family. We were working to survive and hardly thriving. Simply going through the motions.
Our married life has had it’s share of bumps along the way. A few pot holes too, might I add. Again, that’s a story for another day!
About two years after our child was born, my husband was finally able to restart on his path to a college degree. Yet again, life through a wrench in the fire and along came our son before he was able to finish his degree.
Birth of my second child
Nevertheless, a screaming newborn and a rambunctious child didn’t deter him. He finished his degree and thus we began a new chapter in life!
Our motivation
I became a partial stay at home Mom and my husband ventured into his new career path full time! I wish I could say it was dreamy and all that jazz, but I am definitely meant to be a working Momma and so a working Momma I became.
Anyhow, fast forward to a year later. Here we are buying our first home. Something I have always dreamed of since I was a young child. A place to call my own. This house is so much more than the eye can see!
Our first home
It is a symbol of hard work, dedicated, sacrifice, commitment, and perseverance.
A lesson to be shared that you can come from almost any back ground and if you are willing to sacrifice and put in the work you can rise above the rubble and build a solid foundation for the future.
It may not be an easy path to take but it is oh so worth it. I feel like the weight has been lifted I can finally scream, I MADE IT!
Cooky's Corner 